BY: Dr. Prince Oteng-Boateng
Weddings are meant to be celebrations of the love between two people. But sometimes they can represent a deadline for your worries and concerns. The closer you get to the date of the wedding, the more exacerbated your concerns become.Many couples are able to overcome this stress, have their wedding, and live happily ever after. But for some, the worries combined with the stress of planning the wedding itself becomes overwhelming. If it gets too out of hand it can cause people to cancel their weddings altogether.
Emotions of Cancelling Weddings:
Cancelling a wedding is an emotional event, and while it’s never done without any cause, it’s also not necessarily a reflection of the love you two share. It’s not uncommon to still love your partner and want to be with your partner – you simply didn’t feel like you were ready and didn’t know what to do.
Unfortunately, it’s also not uncommon to find that the act of calling off a wedding can also take its emotional toll on your relationship. That’s why you’ll need help picking up the pieces. Consider the following:
- Keep Your Business Private – It’s no one’s business but your own why the wedding was cancelled, and the more you tell other people the more it puts added pressure on your relationship. Simply reiterate your love and keep details private.
- Share Everything – Anything that you don’t share with your partner is going to put stress on both of you. Make sure your partner knows everything you’re thinking, what your worries were, and more. By being open you reduce doubts and fears, as well as future stress. Talk to a couple’s counselor if you need one.
- Be Caring/Loving – When you call off a wedding, your own needs aren’t the only ones that require attention. Your partner is going to have lost a lot of trust, and they’re going to be concerned about the future in a way they were not before. Be understanding, caring, and loving about their feelings and needs, too, instead of focusing completely on your own, because otherwise the cancellation could push them away.
- Don’t Rush It Again – Calling off a wedding can have a rippling effect on future ceremonies. It’s best to consider treating your relationship like it was not ready and going out on dates and getting to know each other again. That will help you rebuild any trust and love that may have been broken by the cancellation.
Communication and care is key. You may have called off the wedding for your own reasons, but you’ll need to not only address those reasons – you’ll also need to show a lot of love to your partner. Your partner will also need to care for your needs, and the two of you need to work together to rebuild the relationship.
If you’re someone that cancelled a wedding, were you able to overcome it? What was the reaction afterwards? Share your stories in the comments.
If you’re in this situation and you feel like you need help to sort things out and repair your relationship, read more about working with a couple’s counsellor here.