Unsure if Divorce is the Answer
No one wants a divorce. You started your relationship with the belief that it would last forever, and yet there are times when couples reach a point of no return – the emotional distress has become too much of a struggle, and they are on the brink of filing for divorce.
If you or your spouse is considering divorce, but are not completely sure it is the best path, there is discernment counseling – a new way of therapy dedicated to helping couples on the brink of divorce address the issues head on, and either save their marriage or help create a more harmonious separation so that neither partner is suffering with the anguish that divorce can cause. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.
Discernment Counselling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is “leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
- Are you or your partner preparing to leave?
- Have you “checked out” of your relationship?
- Do you experience these beliefs even after emotions have cooled down?
Discernment counselling is for those where at least one partner feels that the love is gone, the relationship does not have a future, and they are ready to end it. It is for those that have little doubt, as this form of counselling is a type of “last chance” effort to save the marriage or ensure a less messy divorce.
ALL Couples Can Be Saved – Even in Divorce
Not every couple is meant to be together, and in some cases divorce may be the logical next step. Some couples can still save their marriage. Discernment counselling is one of the best ways to gain better perspective on the marriage, what went wrong, and what can be done to fix it.
For those couples that are still incompatible, discernment counselling can be used to answer the unanswered questions, and help both couples gain a better understanding of their partner so that they are able to separate without the high emotions and negativity that most couples feel in this situation.
The counselor will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.
You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.
The counselor respects your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Number of Sessions:
A maximum of five counseling sessions. The first session is usually two hours and the subsequent are 1.5 or 2 hours.
Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:
- When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce.
- When one spouse is coercing the other to participate.
- When there is danger of domestic violence
- Provides 3 perspectives. Yours, your partner’s, and an objective third party.
- Provides guidance. You can learn what the logical next step is in your marriage.
- Provides understanding. You’ll genuinely understand your partner after it is over.
At Innovative Counselling Solutions, we provide discernment counselling for Calgary couples that are on the verge of ending their relationship, and give them tools to make sure that this period of high emotions is addressed accordingly.
If you feel that your marriage requires discernment counselling, contact us today at 403-879-2503, and let’s start these emergency marriage counselling sessions and try to see where your relationship is, where it’s headed, and how we can make this part of your marriage easier.